Artist's Statement
“This is how I remember him”
Art became a way for me to understand other people when, in my late teens, I picked up a camera and began to see their emotions through my lens. I was immediately drawn to black and white portraits and documentary photography and I came to admire photographers such as Imogen Cunningham, Mary Ellen Mark, Dorothea Lange and Margaret Bourke-White.These days, figurative painting and portraiture are my primary means of creative expression, but photography continues to influence my work. Photographs are frequently at the heart of my paintings, which are often monochromatic and reveal my photographic roots.
I began this series of ink wash paintings – “This is how I remember him” – after I discovered some photos of my dad that were taken in England when he was growing up. Up until then, I’d only seen one photo of him as baby and none of him as a youngster or young man, and I hadn’t had a chance to talk with him about his childhood before he died in 2000.
I thought that these long-lost photos would provide me with some insight into what kind of boy he was. They didn’t. Instead, they just raised more questions: Did he have a happy childhood? What did he dream about? Was he rough-and-tumble, or quiet and shy?
In an effort to answer these questions and to better understand him, our own relationship and where I come from, I began to research the era (and places) in which he grew up. I read social histories of post-war Britain and searched online photographic archives for period photos. These portraits and still-life paintings, which are cobbled together from family photos, personal memories, my reading and community archives, are the results of this personal exploration.
I chose to work with India ink because I feel it helps capture the feel and sensitivities of the past. The patina that the ink leaves on the paper makes the images feel time-worn, evoking the primary themes that these paintings represent: memory, longing, love and regret.
